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May 21, 2016 2 min read

8 Pieces of parenting advice that're so bad they're funny

What is it about becoming pregnant, that suddenly everyone thinks it's OK to give you unsolicited advice? From the day you announce your pregnancy, it feels like it only gets more frequent and worse, and it sure doesn't stop once you have the baby!! Sure there is plenty of good advice too, but we felt like a good LOL so we asked some friends what their favourite funny pearls of wisdom were and we've typed them out, along with a few of our own. Hope you have a good giggle!!

1. "If you choose the baby's name while you're pregnant, don't say it out loud- if you change your mind when the baby is born, and give them a different name, the baby will get confused"

This one actually made us laugh out loud.

2. "If the baby doesn't like you brushing their teeth, sneak in with the toothbrush and toothpaste when they're sleeping and do it then"

Do they not realise how hard it is to get a baby to sleep? No way we're sneaking into the room and risk waking them!

3. "If they bite another child then bite them back"

This one doesn't make much sense, we're supposed to show them that they're not supposed to do something- by doing it. Not sure that toddlers will really get your logic there! Not to mention it'll make the child cry and we'll feel bad.

4. "If your baby is good, the next one will be a real little sh*t"

Surely this opinion isn't backed by any science? Why not just be happy for me that my baby is good and I'm happy? The other variation of this pearl of wisdom is "If your baby is good and doesn't cry much they'll probably be a real little sh*t as a teenager". FFS.

5. "Sleep when the baby sleeps"

OK, thanks for that, I'll also clean when the baby cleans and cook dinner when the baby cooks dinner. Particularly love this piece of advice when you're expecting your second child, LOL!

6. "Keep her awake all day so she sleeps more at night"

This piece of advice came from my husband, I was like 'nooooooooo are we even on the same page with this whole parenting thing?' Also, then I'll have to miss out on my daytime naps, because I sleep when the baby sleeps, remember?

7. "Toughen your nipples for breastfeeding by rubbing them with sandpaper"

To be fair the person who told me this wasn't advising that I did it, just telling me that her friends back home did it. Still, ouch!!!

8. "If you feed/ rock/ tap/ hold them to go to sleep you're making a rod for your back"

As if rocking your baby to sleep now will prevent them from ever being able to go to sleep without rocking. Sorry, we don't know many adults who still need to be rocked to sleep! LOL! Let's just do whatever works now, then when it stops working we'll find something new that works. We're fine with that.

At least we can look back and have a good laugh at all of those pieces of advice! LOL!

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